Who died and gave you an opinion?

The wonder of God's creation is never more evident than in the laugh of a baby!  They look at you with complete adoration and unconditional love.  They are so helpless so completely dependent on you yet they are so full of achievements.  They have their first tooth, they sit up and roll over for the first time, they learn to crawl and to eventually walk.  Their brains are in over drive constantly learning new skills, new ways to play with that same old toy, ways you would have never imagined.  They light up when you walk in the door after a long days work and are so excited to see you, you are their god, their everything!

Enter the rascally teenager!  Unlike the doe eyed baby this creature is illusive.  After returning to my domicile after a long days work this creature is no where to be found.  I have to go searching through the nooks and  crannies to find them only to get a dismissive look once I have located them.  No more meeting me at the door telling me about their day and how much they missed me.  I purposely cherished and soaked in those moments because I knew this day was coming. 

They have reached the point in life where they must start to think for themselves and wean themselves off of their dependence on us.  I understand this and I do not have a problem with them thinking for themselves and having opinions however I had to sit them down and explain a few things. 

You may express your opinion at any point to either or both of us, however, it is all in the way you present your opinion.  You are going to get a lot farther to getting what you want if you express your opinion in a respectful way.  You must only express your opinion once!  If we need clarification or would like for you to tell us more about why you feel that way then have to fear we will ask you.  We take your opinion and weigh that in with the rest of the family.  It is our job to decided what is best for the whole family.  Understand that if we say no or do something contrary to your opinion it is not that we did not value your opinion or you have bad ideas it is just that it was not what was best for the family as a whole.  

What I understand and they do not is that their opinions are often contrary on purpose to stretch or prove their independence.  Their opinions are steeped in selfishness and very little life experience or wisdom.  Their need for independence is essential to them growing into productive functioning adults so I do not want to stifle their creativeness or their own thoughts but I do want them to understand that it is (for now) measured against the greater good of the family.  I will let them figure out for themselves that is is always going to be like that even in their adult life.  Their bosses are going to take their opinion and weigh it against the big picture as well.  No reason to totally burst their bubble now right?