Tuesday, October 27, 2009

America’s Affordable Health Choices Act of 2009 Unconstitutional?


Assuming we accept The Constitution of the United States of America as our governing document, Congress has no Constitutional authority to enact government run health care.

Here are the powers of Congress as set in Article 1 Section 8 of the Constitution:

“The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and
Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defense and general
Welfare of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be
uniform throughout the United States;

To borrow money on the credit of the United States;

To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, and
with the Indian Tribes;

To establish an uniform Rule of Naturalization, and uniform Laws on the subject
of Bankruptcies throughout the United States;

To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the
Standard of Weights and Measures;

To provide for the Punishment of counterfeiting the Securities and current Coin
of the United States;

To establish Post Offices and Post Roads;

To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited
Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings
and Discoveries;

To constitute Tribunals inferior to the supreme Court;

To define and punish Piracies and Felonies committed on the high Seas, and
Offenses against the Law of Nations;

To declare War, grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal, and make Rules concerning
Captures on Land and Water;

To raise and support Armies, but no Appropriation of Money to that Use shall be
for a longer Term than two Years;

To provide and maintain a Navy;

To make Rules for the Government and Regulation of the land and naval Forces;

To provide for calling forth the Militia to execute the Laws of the Union,
suppress Insurrections and repel Invasions;

To provide for organizing, arming, and disciplining the Militia, and for
governing such Part of them as may be employed in the Service of the United
States, reserving to the States respectively, the Appointment of the Officers,
and the Authority of training the Militia according to the discipline
prescribed by Congress;

To exercise exclusive Legislation in all Cases whatsoever, over such District
(not exceeding ten Miles square) as may, by Cession of particular States, and
the acceptance of Congress, become the Seat of the Government of the United
States, and to exercise like Authority over all Places purchased by the Consent
of the Legislature of the State in which the Same shall be, for the Erection of
Forts, Magazines, Arsenals, dock-Yards, and other needful Buildings; And

To make all Laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into
Execution the foregoing Powers, and all other Powers vested by this
Constitution in the Government of the United States, or in any Department or
Officer thereof.”

Furthermore Amendment 10 of the Constitution states this:

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor
prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to
the people.

It seems clear to me there is no provision whatsoever in our Constitution for government run health care.  If this “power (is) not delegated to the United States by the Constitution” then it belongs to the States or the People. 

Whether you agree with the proposed Health Care plan or not how is it possible that they have the power to make such a change.  Congress has enumerated new powers to themselves not given to them by our founding document. If you support this or have a counter argument as to where it gives them this power please post your explanation.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

The best toy my wife every got me!

My wife's great line for years and years now has been "Children are the best toy I ever got Michael". It is so true! A quick example.

The other night me and the two toddlers and the 14yr old were in the living room. The TV happened to be on in the background. We usually do not turn it on until the little tax deductions go to bed. Well a commercial caught Gabe's eye as he was walking by. So he stopped looked at me, looked at the TV, and said "Da dadadad da da ddada deedde" which is cute enough but then he pointed again. That is when I had my awful good idea as the Grinch would say. The next time he pointed to the TV I muted the TV (with the remote down by my side). He would put his hand down and I would un-mute the TV. It took him no more than three times of this for him to see the pattern. Gabe would point, I would mute, he would put his hand down I would un-mute. He was convinced he had some magical powers to make the talking box be quiet. Meanwhile the 14yr old is about to pass out she is laughing so hard. Ah fun times :) You have to try this with your toddler!


Monday, October 5, 2009

Nary a Regret

The trophy wife and I were talking the other day on a long ride home about our lives before we had brains.  She asked if I had any regrets about how I lived my life or things that I had done.  I didn’t have to think long because I have already pondered this question many times in my own head. 

While there are a couple hair styles I would rather not have sported I have nary a regret.  Every choice that I have made either good or bad has brought me to where and who I am today.  Even some of the bad decisions, like being lazy in the first couple of jobs I had, or not going to college, could be seen as mistakes or regrets but each of those taught me something.  I developed a good work ethic as a result of being fired a couple of times.  If I had gone to college then perhaps my wife and I would have never met, married, and had children.  Each experience whether good or bad has shaped the way I think and the outlooks I have. 

I think we parent this way.  We guide our children and advise them but where not dangerous we let them make their own mistakes.  If we see them making the same mistakes over and over again then we have to give more guidance. 


When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.    ~Alexander Graham Bell

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Blink Heard Around the World

As children I think we have all played the staring game.  We sit across from our opponent as we get in one last blink then it is on!
Eyes wide daring the other to blink first. 

As children we are wagering for milk money. More likely we are vying for the title of “Staring Champion, Thomas Jefferson Elementary School, Second Grade 1978. “ As adults the stakes get much higher.

Many view history as the boring stories of dead people.  Why should we care right?  If you stop and think about it though you watch history every day.  Our present will become our children’s history

I believe we just witnessed such a day. Under President Bush we struck a deal with Poland and the Czech Republic to install a missile defense shield in Central Europe.  This was obviously a huge deal for Poland and a point of contention with Russian and Iran.  This shield was to protect our allies and our home land against the Iranian threat of Nuclear or ballistic missiles.  With this shield in place we would be able to engage any missile fired at Israel or even our troops in Afghanistan.  On September 17th 2009 President Obama lost the staring competition and gave into the Russians and sent a clear signal to Iran that we were not serious about protecting our allies.  Iran and Russia see the significance of this blink heard around the world but I think us Americans have not caught on to the fact that we just witnessed a date that will be recorded in our children’s children’s history books.  Couple that with President Obama’s indecision in Afghanistan and Iraq and you have an open door for an arrogant and delusional Iranian government. 

It is time for you to act, continue to write your legislators.  Stand up for what you believe.   Let our government know how we feel and if they fail to represent us as they are paid and elected to do then let us vote them out!


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Small Town feel

I grew up in a Town called Concord, North Carolina for most of my life.  It was small and still rooted in much of the history of the area, however it was less than 30 minutes from Charlotte, NC which was a fast growing city due to the banking industry.  So even though I thought Concord was a small town it really was connected to a large city.  Concord today is really just the sprawl of Charlotte.  It has all the big city things including a NASCAR track, and a Mills Mall.

I live in a small town now in Texas, it still has some small town feel to it but then again it is adjacent to Frisco TX and then Plano and then Dallas which is obviously a very large metroplex.  We are on the outskirts of the concrete jungle but we can still see it from the front porch.  We can drive less than a mile down the road and see horses and cattle and open farm land so it is sort of the best of both worlds.  We have all the conveniences of the big city and the quietness of a small town.

While I thought I knew what a small poor town was I really had no clue.  I always lived near a big city.  This past week I spent some quality time in the small poverty stricken towns of New Mexico.  First we went to my mother-in-laws house in Roswell NM which is actually one of the larger cities in NM and is much like the town I grew up in.  Saturday we traveled an hour back east to Lovington NM which is near the border of Texas and New Mexico.  I was taken back by the slowness of the people there.  I was also taken back by the obvious poverty and the lifestyles that lends itself too.  The houses that would be condemned in most places are proud places of residence here in Lovington.  There is no Wal-Mart (the nearest one is 23 miles away) just Bob’s Supermarket, there are no name brand hotel’s, we stayed at the Lovington Inn which was surprisingly clean and affordable.  The people were working class with little material possessions and what appeared to be little desire to obtain them.  They seem quite content with the life they are leading and the pace at which they are traveling. 


The pace of life is the other thing that stood out to me on this trip.  No one is in a hurry!  I mean no one!  You could sit at a red light for two cycles and no one would even blow their horn at you.  I went into the local Town and Country gas station to buy a couple things and the lady behind the counter seemed in no particular hurry at all to check my items out and get me out of the store.  She took the time to make small talk, fiddle with something or another behind the register and yell across the store to a co-worker who was learning how to do inventory.  Maybe they are on to something here.  They seem very content in a place I would consider oppressive so who’s perspective is wrong?  The simpler life, the out of the rat race life, does seem attractive in many ways but then again, high speed internet, Best Buy, and Wal-Mart are great conveyances too!  I enjoyed my visit because of the change in culture and pace.  I learned a lot from talking with my family who lives there and from hearing their life experiences.  I am looking forward to going back although that is mostly due to my family being there.


Brian Urlacher of the Chicago Bears is from Lovington.  Their native son gone on to fame.  Nice mural.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Dear Gabe


Dear Gabriel Tryece Faries,

May 12, 2009

It has been a tradition in our family since we became foster parents to write a letter to those children that we have been blessed with for only a point and time in their lives. These are generally very hard letters to write. We have no idea what the future will hold for those children or even if our paths will cross again.

Today is the beginning of a new tradition! I am writing you a We Gotcha Letter!

I will never forget the day that we got the news that you were going to be coming to live with us. I was at lunch with my boss at Anderson’s Barbecue and Heather called my cell phone and said “they have a boy for us”. “He has some medical issues and will likely need heart surgery and they need a family to stay with him until after the surgery then the grandmother will take him”. This sounds pretty intimidating but I felt deep down God telling me that this is a child you need in your life. I made the call and you were on your way. You were precious from day one. A little blue at times from the heart defect but precious none the less. I thank God everyday that he spoke to my spirit about you.

There were points and times in your life where we thought you were going to live with family or complete strangers. I grieved terrible at this news. It tore me up inside and I was determined to do everything in my power to fight for you regardless of the hopelessness that seemed to face us. I called every lawyer in the book, followed every lead, each road lead me to “There is nothing you can do legally” sorry Michael. That is when I realized that I was pursuing the wrong path. I had to turn it over to God and I did. Weeks after that we got the news that the situation had resolved itself and you were going to be ours. We were cautiously optimistic.

Today was a glorious day Gabe! What we have been waiting on for 17mths has come to an end and a new beginning.

We had to wake up really early. Obviously you were not excited about this :) We got you in the van and headed on our 2hr drive to Greenville to the court house. You were still in your diaper so you could chow down on your breakfast and not mess up your court clothes :) We got there late of course and got you dressed and rushed into the court house were we met with our attorney. One of us chased you up and down the stairs while the other listened to the lawyer and signed papers. He told us what to expect. He said it was anticlimactic in a way. It was time 9am. We waited for the prisoners from the local jail dressed in their red and white striped jump suites and handcuffs to enter the court then we followed in and sat on the back row of the courtroom. We thought we would be first to go but they took several cases before us. You and a quite courtroom do not get along so I took you out in the hall just outside the courtroom and let you run up and down the hall. Everyone had to comment on how cute you were in your court clothes :) Meanwhile I had been sick so the sweat was pouring down me now due to the fever and the hot court room. My shirt was soaked. Every time the door would open I would hold my breath thinking it was the lawyer coming to get us. This happened 10 or 15 times. Finally the lawyer poked his head out the door and said it is time! I swept you in my arms and marched straight for the judges bench not looking at anyone for fear I would burst into tears at any moment! Finally our family Heather, Hannah, Tara, Kiya, and your half sister Laura were standing in front of this half bald judge. I glanced to the right quickly to see my beautiful family but turned away quickly trying to avoid crying again. FOCUS Michael FOCUS. I fixed my eyes on the lawyers beard. He had said we will need to answer about 10 questions all of which will be answered with “Yes”. How hard can that be? Staring straight at his beard as he begins to ask the questions trying not to even hear them but to listen for the end of the sentence so I can say “YES”. Finally the end of the first question. “Mr. Faries is that correct?” Weak and softly I say “yes”. “Mr. Faries can you please speak up so the court reporter can hear you?” I clear my throat and belt out a powerful “YES”. Whew I made it through the first question! The second and third questions came and went still focusing back and forth between his beard and the court reporters little cup like device she speaks into trying not to think about the hugeness of the moment. Question five, six, seven, and eight went down with a powerful and resounding “YES”. Then it happened, sweat pouring out of every pour in my body, I lost my gaze and looked to my right and saw my beautiful family and our friends who were there to catalog this moment. At that moment a million what if’s collided with the certainty and finality of this very moment. It hit me like a ton of bricks. A thousand emotions flooded me and I broke into tears. Question nine was answered with a clutching of you to my check as my tears ran down your face and a weak head nod. “Will the record show Mr Faries nodded yes?” “Mr. Faries you are obviously excited about this moment”. Man was that an understatement! Question ten was greeted with the continuation of the last shaking of my head “YES”! My questions are over and I think I did pretty well :) Heather answers the last two questions with a quick “Yes” and the lawyer turns to the judge and says “I rest my case”. The finality of this moment ended when the judge slammed his gavel down with a smile on his face and said “I approve this adoption!”


I will never forget this moment in my life and I hope this will give you a little insight into how I felt at that moment when you became my forever son.

I love you with all of my heart, all of my soul, You are my SON!

Love Daddy,

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I pledge my children to Heaven

“Oh no matter whatever the cost, I'm gonna count all things lost.
Well I pledge my son, I pledge my wife, I pledge my head to heaven”

This is one of my favorite lyrics.  It was written by a man named Keith Green in a song called I Pledge my head to heaven”.  Keith knew what it meant to follow Christ.  He knew he had to die to himself he had to put God before all things he held dear.  He had to pledge his children, his wife, and even his own head to heaven to pursue the gospel.

This week another little one is going home and as I was sitting writing my goodbye letter to her these lyrics popped into my head.  I have to sacrifice my desires and my plans for the plans God has.  It is difficult but I have to pledge my children to Heaven.  We did our part to be the vessel when called upon to fill a void in their lives and I am determined to be grateful that I got to be a part at all instead of all the what if’s or concentrating on what I will miss in their lives. 

Each time I sit down to write on of these letters that is the hardest part.  I imagine all the phases of their lives and I can see them growing in my minds eye and it makes me long to want to be there for every moment.  Every tee ball game or every dance recital, every first step, every lost tooth, every first and every last, every sorrow and every joy.

God called me to be above the moment, to be above my desires, He called me to pledge my Children to Heaven, and to count all things as lost for the gospel.

My heart breaks but my purpose is fulfilled….

Monday, March 23, 2009


Even the biggest tree you can imagine grew from a tiny little seed.  Once planted the seed extends its root system down into the soil and absorbs the nutrients from the soil.  The bigger the tree the larger the root system.  If you go to transplant a tree from one location to another you must dig up the entire root system to go with it for it to survive.

Everyone of us has our own roots.  Our roots are our life experiences with each new experience our root system gets larger and larger. Like the tree our root system is transplanted with us.  I went back to my roots this past week.  I went back to small town North Carolina where I grew up and lived until I was 34.  This part of my root system of course makes up the lions share of my roots. 


My roots are old country roads, drinking SunDrop and Cheerwine while enjoying a nice Moonpie on the porch,

Cheerwine signGirlShadow moon_pie


a pace of life that is slow and deliberate, a country draw that is equally slow and deliberate, tall evergreens and trees everywhere, vibrant eye popping fall colors, long muggy summer nights with the nightly thunderstorm rolling through, cruising the strip in downtown Concord in my brothers old Trans Am,  the old Sears building in downtown where our band used to practice, Chips (of Squids fame of course) music store where we would go to scope out new gear,


The Red Pig where we would go for greasy food, the long grandeur of the houses on Union street in Concord, a clear reminder of a simpler time with the large plantation style housing and huge trees lining each side of the street reeking of history,



of course NASCAR!  NASCAR was born on the back roads of North Carolina where they used to tork up their cars to haul their moonshie and stay one step ahead of the law.  The idol worship of our native son No. 3!DaleEarnhardtSr.

it’s old friends and memories everywhere I look.  We were staying about an hour away from where I grew up but I still managed to see someone I knew at the local Wal-Mart. 

No matter where I live I will always be connected in a very deep way to this part of God’s creation for it is in my roots.

Feel free to leave memories of your roots.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The Premature Agree’er

Me: “Hi I’m…”
PA: “Yeah”
Me: “Michael” holding my hand out
Me: “I am”
PA: “Yeah”
So now I see that he is a premature agree’er I rush through the sentence so that he can not agree to whatever I am saying.
Me: “HereToSetupYourComputer”  There I got it out without a interruption.
PA: “Yeah uh huh” “Great!”

This guy was a foreigner of some origin perhaps Russian which is only relevant because he had that accent that made it even funnier. 

So why do premature agree’ers do this?

1) They are reading my mind and have already foreseen everything that I am about to say and agree with it.  This one is highly unlikely as I think there is little scientific proof that this is a true phenomena plus if he was reading my mind he would understand I was irritated by his constant interruptions.

2) He is highly intelligent and can both speak and listen at the same time.  This is plausible as he is a propeller head.  I will keep this as a possibility.  He didn’t ask questions so either he completely understood everything I said (as he talked over me) or he is going to be entering a lot of trouble tickets soon.

3) He is completely nervous about his language skills and does this out of nervous habit.  I think this is the most likely.  I can not say this is true for every premature agree’er but I think this was for mine.

PA: “Yeah uh huh…. Great!”

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Another trip around the track?

It’s what feels like a thousand degree’s outside, the breezes come in short stingy breaths, and you are standing in a line that seems a mile long with 200 strangers.  Working your way through the maze like herded cattle you finally are within eye sight of the prize, the payoff to all the sweat and uncomfortable closeness.  There it is a breeze from the roller coaster as it rushes into the station, full of wind blown people half with a look of terror and half with a look of glee.  You work your way to the final cattle gate (you choose the front to see all the action).  Strap yourself in and hold on for dear life.  A sudden jolt and you are out of the station, a slow gentle meander to the first big hill. Click, Click, Click, Click as the cars climb up the hill, the anticipation growing with each progressive click, the clicking stops as you crest the hill, the bottom seems behind you as you throw your hands in the air and plummet to the bottom of the hill, your stomach leaps out, you loose your breath, and you feel like you are about to fly out of the safety devices that you checked a thousand times before.  There is a brief lull at the bottom then right back up the next hill you feel so alive and so close to death at the same time.

Heather and I got on this roller coaster of fostering  two years ago.  We had the long line of being certified then the anticipation as we climbed the hill wondering when we would get to the crest of our first placement and now we are rushing at ungodly speeds being jarred and jolted exhilarated and frightened at the same time through two years of placements, paperwork, trials, and triumphs.  The training we received really prepared us in no way for what we were getting into.  They teach you about the proper restraint of a child, the how to’s of med logs, CPR, etc but they do not prepare you for the emotional roller coaster you waited in line for. 

After our second placement Rylan left we had no idea what to do we had no support no understanding of how to handle the loss.  It was like someone kidnapped our child and everyone knew it but didn’t care.  “Sir we know your child is missing but that’s ok that is the way it is supposed to be, just deal with it!”.  While we were happy he was with family it still didn’t replace the hole left in our family and in our hearts.  Why don’t they prepare you for this or at least help you through it?  I don’t know to be honest.  Perhaps they think no one would be foster parents if they knew the heart ache before them.

This roller coaster has given us intense joy and intense pain.  As the coaster pulls into the station once again in a couple weeks to let another passenger off we have to decided do we want to strap ourselves back in for another trip around the track.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Save the terrorist, kill the babies!

I think my wife it right… It is going to be a long 4 years (or 8) for me.  So far Obama has signed an executive order to shut down Guantanamo Bay and has reasserted his vow to sign the FOCA if it gets through the new congress.

Why would the terrorist rights be so important to him yet the rights of the unborn child are of no concern.  Obama has said on many occasions that he is Pro Choice and that is not going to change he is going to do everything he can to further this agenda.  This is one of the Changes he talked about on the campaign trail.  The American people (and A LOT of Christians) gave him the tools to do it by electing a Democratic Congress/Senate/Whitehouse!  A few Supreme Court nominations and he has free reign to do anything he wants to do. 

Change and Hope! 

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Hey Obama! What color is the sky?

Ah… ah… ah… ah… Government!

No Obama Government is not the answer to everything!


I wrote that myself :) I may add that to my stand up routine.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Fine! I’m a raciest then!

I have managed to keep myself pretty distracted since the election with various activities such as football, children, work etc so I have managed to keep my blood pressure under control (Except for when the Panthers choked and lost to the Cardinals in the playoffs! Dangit there goes my blood pressure again!). 

Yesterday got my head spinning again and my blood pressure up.  I was surrounded by the notion that I have to be excited about Obama becoming President.  Let me preface this by saying I understand the importance and I even blogged about it at the time it happened.

Yesterday I was torn.  I am happy we elected an African American but had trouble getting excited about the African American that we elected (of course I did not vote for him as you might have guessed).  I am opposed to practically everything he stands for, big government, homeland security, abortion, foreign policy, just to name a few.  Because I disagree with this African American and I am not excited to see this African American take office and start this country in a direction I am against I am a raciest!  I think this is ridiculous but I have experienced it myself from someone very close to me and I see it in the media where opposition to Obama is considered raciest as opposed to just ideological differences. 

When Obama was elected I told someone that he was elected by two groups: African Americans, and people that hate Bush.  My point was that a lot (not all) African Americans voted for Obama because he was African American and that if that was the only reason they voted for him then it was raciest.  If you have no clue what he stands for or what he plans to do with the country and still voted for him because he is the same race as you then that in my opinion is raciest.  This person did not agree and thought/thinks I am a raciest.  I suppose his race makes him untouchable and his ideas valid just on the color of his skin.  This is going to be a long raciest 4 years for me!

I am not excited about the President the country elected and if racism was indeed dead then I should be able to say that and not be labeled at all (except perhaps a conservative).  I honestly do not care what color he is but I disagree with his policies whole heartedly and if that makes me a raciest then fine!

Monday, January 19, 2009

The children the system makes

Last weekend I spent the day in Behavioral Management class for foster parent training through our agency.  The instructor was Dan one of my favorites, he has been doing this for 30 years and knows the whys behind kids that are in the system.  He has seen it all. 

Last summer he decided it was time to get some “field” experience. He has taught for years and intellectually understands how to deal with abused and neglected children but had never had hands on experience full time.  He and his wife bit the bullet and took in a 9yr old boy named Zack.  They got him straight out of a mental institute where he had been placed after his last placement in the foster care system ended badly.  Zack had been in the system since he was 2yrs old.

Dan learned very quickly he was head deep in what he had been teaching all these years.  Zack was misdiagnosed in the mental institution to have Bi Polar.  He had many diagnosis which I will get to in a minute.  He was diagnosed with Bi Polar because that is one of the illnesses that the institute gets paid for.  If they had accurately diagnosed him and medicated him to treat those diagnosis the institute would not get paid. Which I find outrageous.  The government gone awry again.

The first thing Dan had to do was to get him seen by his therapist and get the right diagnosis and get him on the right medications.  He was diagnosed with RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder), ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder), and ADHD.

Dan and his wife spent months working with Zack by applying his years of strategies and philosophies.  He admitted that even with the intellectual power to understand the why behind the behavior he found himself in timeout quite often.  You see Zack was also diagnosed with encopresis which is uncontrollable soiling.  The doctors said that he could not control this but Dan found that Zach would use this as a passive aggressive tool to get back at them.  He did not do it anywhere but at the house.  Anywhere that it would embarrass him he did not have an accident.  This issue in particular drove Dan to the point of braking.

Dan’s goal was to take a hopeless kid and get him to the point of being adoptable.  Dan and his wife are in their mid fifties so their intention was never to adopt him because they were just too old but to get him to a point where he could attach and be adopted.

They had reached this goal for the most part.  It got to the point where his psychiatric team decided it was time to start moving in that direction.  So they set Zack down and explained that they would not be adopting him or anyone one due to their age so that he would understand they are not rejecting him but would reject anyone in the same way.  They told him he would be adopted by another family an they would be his forever family!  Zack seemed to process this and seemed to repeat back that he is not being rejected again.

While he accepted this on the outside on the inside something snapped and within days he was back to square one.  Dan had failed and he and his wife could not continue because it was so draining.  Zack had to be readmitted into the mental institution.  They all promised to stay in touch and he still calls wanting to come back to Dan and his wife but it is just not possible.

These are the kids the system makes.  I asked Dan what would become of Zack.  He said frankly, since his wife was  not there, Zack will be incarcerated at an early age and will be a life long criminal and drug abuser because he has relied on the meds for so many years.  I followed up with, If Zach had a stable family from the beginning and had never been in the system what would be the outcome.  He said that all of his problems were created by the system and by an over developed lymbic system.  Because the human body develops from the Top down and from the center out this is one of the first systems to develop.  Because of the trauma it over develops this fight or flight system.

The sad truth is Zack is lost to the system.  Because Dan got him so old he did not have an opportunity to change his belief systems.  It was so much a part of who he was it could not be changed.  We need more good people in the system that can care for and make a difference in these children so that no more Zack’s ever fall through the cracks.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Don't look now but you have a fish on your bumper!

I was a little sleepy this morning driving to work. Instead of a "Geographical Oddity, Two weeks from everywhere" (O Brother, Where Art Thou?) I live in a "Time Zone Oddity". Every show comes on at 9pm BHT (Baby House Time). We don't watch anything live so we wait until the kids are in bed to watch any TV shows so last night I started the 2hr premiere of 24 starting at 9. I am old so that is pushing my ability to keep my eyes open.

After dragging myself out of bed and taking a hot shower I drudge out to the car and get on with my commute at about 6am. Not long after being on the road the truck in front of me catches my eye. I have to take a double take and wipe my eyes. Every time the truck puts on brakes I see something moving back and forth and two tiny red lights near the bumper. This woke me up quick and peaked my interest. I got closer and noticed it was a fish on his trailer hitch ball. I almost ran into the back of him several times because I was mesmerized by this stupid thing.

Order your Accident Initiator now!
You can get various others as well. I like the Bad Dog and my favorite Whoa Horsey .

Monday, January 12, 2009

A son is born!

We have been through this several times already.  It always starts the same "Guys looks like this one is going to be available are you interested in adopting?"  "Well of course we are!"  I understand that they need to ask that question even when they have no clue if it is reality or not but I wish they would save that question until there is a little more evidence that it will be reality.

In June of this year things looked great for baby T .  We had just seen baby Jesse off to go be with this bio family and we needed a break!  So I had some work to do in Houston and the family went with me to unwind clear our minds of the heartbreak we just went through.  We lost Jesse but baby T was still there and things were looking good.  We decided to start calling him by the name we are going to call him when he is adopted so he can get used to it.  We let our guard down. 

Not long after returning from that trip my wife calls me and tells me that we should prepare ourselves to loose baby T things have changed and there is practically no chance we will ever get to keep him.  He is going to be taken from us and given to a family of his own heritage.

Emotions spewed out of me I balled my eyes out, cried to God, got mad at the world.  I called every lawyer in the book trying to do everything humanly possible to fight for MY SON!  I was going to fight the world to keep  him.  My wife thought I had lost my mind but I was determined to fight for my son!  I knew no one in the world could love this boy more than we do!  I knew what was best for him was our family.  It looked hopeless.  For some odd reason our Country has given the Indian Nation authority over any court in the nation.  What they decide goes.  They never decide for the non-Indian family.

This last Friday driving in my car crying my eyes out again!  This whole time I have not let myself believe it.  I have protected my heart against the pain to be sure I don't feel this again.  January 10th marks the end of the 90 day probation period for Baby T no long lost family member or friend can come out of the woodwork and claim him now.  HE IS OURS!  You see the miracle happened, the father refused a paternity test but also refused any future interest in the case.  Without proof of the father the Indian Nation had no case so they dropped the case and the parental rights were terminated.  The last 90 days I have kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Driving in my car Friday I let myself feel it, I let my self believe it, I let myself enjoy it!


Thursday, January 8, 2009

Who died and gave you an opinion?

The wonder of God's creation is never more evident than in the laugh of a baby!  They look at you with complete adoration and unconditional love.  They are so helpless so completely dependent on you yet they are so full of achievements.  They have their first tooth, they sit up and roll over for the first time, they learn to crawl and to eventually walk.  Their brains are in over drive constantly learning new skills, new ways to play with that same old toy, ways you would have never imagined.  They light up when you walk in the door after a long days work and are so excited to see you, you are their god, their everything!

Enter the rascally teenager!  Unlike the doe eyed baby this creature is illusive.  After returning to my domicile after a long days work this creature is no where to be found.  I have to go searching through the nooks and  crannies to find them only to get a dismissive look once I have located them.  No more meeting me at the door telling me about their day and how much they missed me.  I purposely cherished and soaked in those moments because I knew this day was coming. 

They have reached the point in life where they must start to think for themselves and wean themselves off of their dependence on us.  I understand this and I do not have a problem with them thinking for themselves and having opinions however I had to sit them down and explain a few things. 

You may express your opinion at any point to either or both of us, however, it is all in the way you present your opinion.  You are going to get a lot farther to getting what you want if you express your opinion in a respectful way.  You must only express your opinion once!  If we need clarification or would like for you to tell us more about why you feel that way then have to fear we will ask you.  We take your opinion and weigh that in with the rest of the family.  It is our job to decided what is best for the whole family.  Understand that if we say no or do something contrary to your opinion it is not that we did not value your opinion or you have bad ideas it is just that it was not what was best for the family as a whole.  

What I understand and they do not is that their opinions are often contrary on purpose to stretch or prove their independence.  Their opinions are steeped in selfishness and very little life experience or wisdom.  Their need for independence is essential to them growing into productive functioning adults so I do not want to stifle their creativeness or their own thoughts but I do want them to understand that it is (for now) measured against the greater good of the family.  I will let them figure out for themselves that is is always going to be like that even in their adult life.  Their bosses are going to take their opinion and weigh it against the big picture as well.  No reason to totally burst their bubble now right?

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

I have half a cold!

Have you ever had a cold where only one nostril is stuffy and the other is fine?  What do you do with that?  Do I just take half the cold medicine I would normally take?  If so how would the medicine know which side of my nose is clogged?  What if it chooses wrong ? Very perplexing.

At least I have one healthy nostril!  Hopefully it will not succumb to the snotty side!

Friday, January 2, 2009

Name that house?

For many years now I have been intrigued by the way the British name their homes.  It started while reading C.S. Lewis over 15 years ago.  His home was called "The Kilns".  You know we Americans name everything we own practically or assign gender to them at the very least.  I have been trying to think of something creative to name our home.  Madhouse seems appropriate, Poopie House also very accurate, Hormone Manor also a fine description, but I want to name it something elegant and regale. 

Most of the houses in England are named after a distinguishing feature of their house like "Red Oak House", Two Chimney Place or after animals "Fox Manor" but they can be named anything and for any reason.  If you have never thought about naming your house give it a thought and let me know what you come up with.  If me and the family come up with a good name I will post it.

Happy New Year!

Monday, December 29, 2008

Face of the earth

I have spent the last couple of days blissfully unaware of anything to do with work or computers in general.  I must admit I enjoyed it tremendously.  I was unconnected, unaware, and loving it!  After officially falling of the face of the earth for a couple days I must say that the face of the earth is overrated.  I enjoyed just sitting and playing with my vast quantities of children and doing my honey do list.  I rearranged my entertainment center, put new weather stripping on the doors, got my foster parent training finally completed for this year, cleaned up some speaker wires the babies just love to play with (sorry babies it is for your own good), and most importantly for the first time since I have worked at my current job I did not have to come in over the holidays at all!  I had a great time and hope you guys did too.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

A few of my favorite things 2008

These are a few of my favorite things I found this year.  These favorite things are excluding the obvious like my family etc.  Inspired by this post.

1) I finally broke down and got a big screen TV and LOVE it when I get the opportunity to watch it.

TV_Fireplace copy

2) I am 100% addicted to my blackberry!  Awesome tool for work and life!


3) Dual Monitors! It opens up a whole new world.  I first got them here at work then when we bought a new computer at home I told Heather she had to get dual monitors.  I think she is hooked too!


4) FaceBook.com!  Another addition of mine.  What a blast this is connecting with new and old friends.  Much better than MySpace in my opinion. Don't forget the Facebook application for the BlackBerry to Geek it out properly.


5) Blogger.com!  My wife also turned me on to blogs this year and I have to say it is awesome!  I feel like I know some of the bloggers better than my real life friends.  Well I probably do because in real life you just don't have time to share like you can in a blog. Does that make me weird to have cyber friends?


6) 24hr Fitness.  Ok so another addiction of mine...  I think I have a problem... This is turning into and intervention post I think.  They opened up a gym right down the road from me and there is also one near my office so I get to go at lunch and after work!  Feel the burn baby!

24hr fitness

7) Sensi~Care.  My wife actually discovered this but it has been a God send with all the pooping going on with these digestively challenged babies.  It creates a barrier between the baby bottom and anything.  Very crucial when the babies have toxic poo that eats their butts.


I am sure there are more but can not think of them right now.  If I do I will edit the post and add them.

Tried to figure out Mr. Linky thing but no luck so far... Just leave a comment with a link to your favorite things of 2008.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Ice Ice Baby!


I have lived in the south all of my life first in Charlotte NC and now in North Texas. Living in these areas has its colorful locals for certain but for the most part I work and live with people that are from all areas on the US and world. I meet very few people who are actually from the area. So today the melting pot are at odds with each other. Today we have ice everywhere which only happens perhaps twice a year and it never fails during these brief interludes of ice that someone from "bad weather land" will comment on how much us backwards hillbilly folk can not drive in bad weather.

First of all we are hillbillies but it is never nice to call people names. Secondly can anyone really drive on ice? I mean sure people from "bad weather land" can drive on snow because you see it more often than those of us that live closer to the equator, but ice is ice, no traction, slippery, fall down go boom, etc. Thirdly you might be from "bad weather land" and have driven in snow every day of your life but the fact is you are in the south now where we see snow/ice once or twice a year so our local governments do not have the money to invest in the equipment necessary to properly prepare and clean the roads. Even if you are used to it the roads here are not as well taken care. So if you see me driving 10 miles per hour leave me be I'm nervous! Give me lots of room! It's really in your best interest I may freak out at any moment!


"That's all I got to say about that"

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Candid Photo MEME (at Heather's request)

MEME (What does this mean?) I don't know I am just doing what I was told to do by my wife!

My wife's POST and directions:

Here's the rules:
Shot on the spot, where you’re supposed to take a picture and post it right away.
Rules are:
1) Take a picture of yourself right NOW!
2) DON’T change your clothes, DON’T fix your hair… Just take a picture.
3) Post that picture with NO editing.
4) Post these instructions with your picture.
5)Tag up to 10 people to do this, be sure to let them know they're tagged!

So here is the candid picture of me from this morning.  Please forgive me I didn't have time to button up my shirt and my hair was a little messy but I guess that is what is all about right, warts and all?


Really I don't have a way to take a picture right now.  Sorry :(

Monday, December 8, 2008

Stand up for your rights!

Apparently it is perfectly acceptable to release your pent up gas while standing next to me at a urinal!  I think the proper etiquette is for me to stare straight ahead and pretend like I am deaf but I can not stay silent (pun intended) any longer!  I mean do I attract these Aggressive Urinal Farters or is this a more global issue?  Why is it acceptable because you are at a urinal?  It is like picking your nose while you are driving.  You are NOT invisible people we see you diggin in that thing like there is gold up there!  I would just like to say for the record WE HEAR YOU and it's not cool!

If you are a victim of AUF (Aggressive Urinal Farters) please join me in my fight!  If you suffer from AUF there is help for you.   Please join a support group near you and put an end to AUF!

Friday, December 5, 2008

One year ago...

I am sitting in one of my favorite BBQ places enjoying some smoked turkey with all the "fixins", talking with my boss about something or nothing and the phone rings.  I usually do not answer while at lunch because it is rude first of all and anything of importance can always wait until I am done digesting right?  I knew we were on the list for foster placement however so I decided to answer it.  It was indeed Heather calling saying we have a possible little boy. Rylan our second foster son had gone to live with his grandmother just a couple weeks before so we were anxious for another placement.  She said his mother had tested positive for several drugs and that she had given up several children before this one.  He would however, need open heart surgery in a couple months to correct a congenital heart defect and they needed a family to get him through that before he went to live with his grandparents.  I told her to get more information and call me back.  I would not normally consider this because of the medical needs however something made me say YES when she called back.  I think in the back of my mind I was thinking that the grandmother would get him so we would only be taking care of him for a couple months.

Since that day every time I get a moment to myself I wonder about all the children we have declined for one reason or another.  Did I make the right call?  What about all the wonderful children that I will never get to meet?  What if I had turned down baby T?  Overwhelming.

Yesterday my little boy turned one year old and I have to say he lights up my world.  When I get home from work he is there with his chubby little fingers on the gate saying "Da Da" through is half toothed grin!  Melts me every time. 

Happy Birthday Baby T!  Daddy Loves you! 

Monday, December 1, 2008


Hope is the belief that your tomorrows will be better than your today or a feeling that your desire will be fulfilled.  It can be a powerful driving force in your life.  It can be the only thing that keeps you going sometimes.  Life can also be debilitating without it.  You have no direction to strive, no goal to reach, no belief things can get any better than they are right now.

I met a man this weekend that had just gotten out of prison and this week is on his way to live in a men's shelter because he has no where else to go.  He had a rough childhood with an abusive father.  He was in prison because he was hooked on drugs and did very desperate things to get more.  He wants to leave that behind and I see huge potential in this young man.  He has been clean for a year because he was in prison.  This is the bottom for him but with the right direction this can be a renewal and a rebirth for him.  This can be a new beginning.  I want to be that hope for him, I want to provide that direction and encouragement to not fall back into the same lifestyle (because that is what he knows) but to move forward with a fresh start.  With nothing else to loose he stands at a crossroads one path is difficult and unknown one path is easy and familiar.  I pray that God will provide a way for me to mentor him on the unknown path.  I want him to be able to reach up through HOPE and grab a hold of joy again to do the things with his life he wants to, to be the man God wants him to be.

It is important to me because the man I met is my foster son's dad.  We hope to adopt him soon and I know that someday my son will want to search out his birth father and I want the man he finds to be a righteous man living for God.  Pray that I can reach out to him.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Are we really that bad?

It's mothers day this year at our church.  I am sitting in the seat next to my wife in the middle of this wonderful appreciation service for all of those mothers that give so much and get so little in return.  I think to myself this is such a wonderful church and a wonderful service to honor the sacrifice mothers give to raise families and in some cases husbands.  It was a great service altogether and that night they provided babysitting and a free meal at a local steak house for all of the single mothers out there to show their appreciation and understanding of the struggles that a single mom has to go through on a daily basis.  I was very proud to be a part of our church that day.  They did a great job of honoring mothers that day.

Fast forward, its fathers day, I am feeling pretty good.  My wife and girls and even our foster children (Well Heather really but said it was from them) got me hand made cards and gifts in appreciation of me.  I felt appreciated and honored.  We get to church that Sunday and I am excited to see what wonderful things they have planned for us Dad's out there.  The worships starts, the announcements are made, the pastor gets up to preach, and he starts preaching the next part of the series we are in.  I am thinking surely there is a mistake.  Does he not know it's Fathers Day?  So confused I try to pay attention to what he is talking about but find myself wondering what is going on.  The pastor finishes his sermon and at the close of service says that they didn't do a fathers day because he did not want to go into what all we are doing wrong.  In essence you guys suck and I don't have anything good to say about dads so I wont say anything at all.  I was shocked to say the least.  Are we really that bad?

I experience this a lot or maybe I just notice it more for some reason.  This week we had our son in the hospital for a minor surgery.  He had just got out of surgery and they moved him to the recovery floor.  I have him in my arms all cuddled up because I did not get to see him before surgery.  Me and my wife are both sitting there and the nurse says "Mom what surgery did he have?" My wife has many great qualities but hearing is something she physically cant do (light bright in the ear at 5 doesn't help) so I said he had a circumcision.  She writes on the paper and goes on her way.  She comes back again and says "Mom how did the doctor advise you to treat it?" to which I replied what the doctor told us because again my wife did not hear what the doctor said.  What is the deal am I invisible?  Does she really think I have no clue why my son is in the hospital?

We have two teenage daughters and 3 children under 2 so when my wife has to do something outside the house I stay home and take care of it.  When my wife answers the question where are the children they seem appalled that she would leave them home with a dad.  They always ask "Can he handle that?"  I don't get it are there that many bad fathers out there giving the rest of us a bad name?

Do I suck and just don't know it?  Kinda like your fly is down and no one wants to tell you?

I am in no way suggesting I am a perfect father or husband.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Reminder of how stupid I am

I read this blog post the other day about opening the mouth and inserting the foot and it reminded me of more than one of those occasions but here is just one of the many:

A couple years ago I was working as the Network Administrator of this "Christian" based distributing company. I took care of the entire infrastructure from the ground up. I went to church with the CEO and my Pastor would often come to the office and speak to us about various topics. On this project I was charged with coming up with a solution for filtering Internet sites. So I go about doing all the research, selecting and buying the solution, and finally implementing the solution. I was quite proud of the product and all the fancy capabilities so now it is time to show off all of my hard work, its time for the big payoff! They are going to be so impressed with me when I am done with this baby!

We gather all of the Executives in the CEO's office and huddled around his computer for the masterful dog and pony show. So we go through the product and look at all the reporting and blocking capabilities it is going great, they are loving it, and then the CEO says to me "So this blocks porn sites right?" to which I very proudly said "Yes sir it does and outstanding job of it!" "here let me show you". I plop my, then, rather rotund behind into his chair and type in playboy dot com and proudly press the enter key... Ummm it didn't block it! SO there in front of all of my Christian Executives is the frontpage of playboy dot com in all its glory! The CEO's face got very flush with embarrassment, (he was going bald so I could see the entire top of his head getting red) and I about broke my finger clicking on the red X on the browser bar! Turns out there was one setting in the software that wasn't set quite right.

I retested this software after correcting the glitch and then very nervously had another demo in front of a much smaller audience this time. The software ended up being a success despite my stupidity and lack of thoroughness. Just when you start to think you are smart you go and prove yourself wrong.

I wonder why they laid me off?

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Batman Begins while the Kung Fu Panda Gets Smart!

I was watching this movie where this kid's parents get shot coming out of a theatre so he ends up being raised by his butler Alfred.  Then one night he has a dream that he is part of the Ferocious Five and is kicking all kinds of bad guy booty and blinding people with his Awesomeness and Attractiveness.  Then when he grows up he actually ends up being a FBI analyst that wants to be an agent but is too clumsy and too good at his job to become an actual agent.

That is what I got out of it anyway. Over the past 2 weeks I have watched roughly half of three movies before crashing into sleep.  All together I have watched a movie and half but can never seem to finish any of them.  (Don't tell me how they end someday I will go back and watch the endings)

Since we became foster parents about a year and a half ago it has been a lot of sleepless nights!  We have had baby after baby so the normal 6mths and they are sleeping through the night was actually almost a year and a half of not sleeping through the night!  As soon as we get one baby sleeping through the night the next new born would come along and we would start the process all over again. 

Most nights all 5 children sleep through the night now but I spend from 6:30 (when I get home from work) until 9pm getting babies played with, fed, changed, fed, changed, bathed, played with and then finally put to bed.  (Of course my wife helps out a little) so when the older kids come and beg me to watch a movie with them I REALLY want too but my body just can't hang.  We get started and about 30mins in I am out like a light.  I feel really guilty because the babies require a lot of attention and the older girls get my left overs.  I need to figure out a way to give them more one on one daddy time.  Soon they will be off on their own and I will not have the opportunity to do that any more.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Did you kiss a vet?

The Bible says there is no greater love than to lay down your life for another.  Each man and woman through this countries great history were willing to do just that.  They signed that dotted line knowing full well that if called upon they would sacrifice their life to keep our freedoms undefiled, and our country sovereign. 

Many Americans paid the ultimate price for our ancestors, for us, and for future generations.  These are our sons and daughters, our brothers and sisters, our mothers and fathers, these are our heroes! 

Honor the memory of those that have fought and died, those that have fought and come home, and those still fighting by saying thank you. If you see someone in uniform in a restaurant say thank you by buying their lunch.  Let them know you appreciate their service and sacrifice.

I took the time to say thank you to all the veterans I know yesterday, from my father, to co-workers, to friends.  It doesn't just have to be on veterans day it can be any day.