Save the terrorist, kill the babies!

I think my wife it right… It is going to be a long 4 years (or 8) for me.  So far Obama has signed an executive order to shut down Guantanamo Bay and has reasserted his vow to sign the FOCA if it gets through the new congress.

Why would the terrorist rights be so important to him yet the rights of the unborn child are of no concern.  Obama has said on many occasions that he is Pro Choice and that is not going to change he is going to do everything he can to further this agenda.  This is one of the Changes he talked about on the campaign trail.  The American people (and A LOT of Christians) gave him the tools to do it by electing a Democratic Congress/Senate/Whitehouse!  A few Supreme Court nominations and he has free reign to do anything he wants to do. 

Change and Hope! 

Hey Obama! What color is the sky?

Ah… ah… ah… ah… Government!

No Obama Government is not the answer to everything!

 

I wrote that myself :) I may add that to my stand up routine.

Fine! I’m a raciest then!

I have managed to keep myself pretty distracted since the election with various activities such as football, children, work etc so I have managed to keep my blood pressure under control (Except for when the Panthers choked and lost to the Cardinals in the playoffs! Dangit there goes my blood pressure again!). 

Yesterday got my head spinning again and my blood pressure up.  I was surrounded by the notion that I have to be excited about Obama becoming President.  Let me preface this by saying I understand the importance and I even blogged about it at the time it happened.

Yesterday I was torn.  I am happy we elected an African American but had trouble getting excited about the African American that we elected (of course I did not vote for him as you might have guessed).  I am opposed to practically everything he stands for, big government, homeland security, abortion, foreign policy, just to name a few.  Because I disagree with this African American and I am not excited to see this African American take office and start this country in a direction I am against I am a raciest!  I think this is ridiculous but I have experienced it myself from someone very close to me and I see it in the media where opposition to Obama is considered raciest as opposed to just ideological differences. 

When Obama was elected I told someone that he was elected by two groups: African Americans, and people that hate Bush.  My point was that a lot (not all) African Americans voted for Obama because he was African American and that if that was the only reason they voted for him then it was raciest.  If you have no clue what he stands for or what he plans to do with the country and still voted for him because he is the same race as you then that in my opinion is raciest.  This person did not agree and thought/thinks I am a raciest.  I suppose his race makes him untouchable and his ideas valid just on the color of his skin.  This is going to be a long raciest 4 years for me!

I am not excited about the President the country elected and if racism was indeed dead then I should be able to say that and not be labeled at all (except perhaps a conservative).  I honestly do not care what color he is but I disagree with his policies whole heartedly and if that makes me a raciest then fine!

The children the system makes

Last weekend I spent the day in Behavioral Management class for foster parent training through our agency.  The instructor was Dan one of my favorites, he has been doing this for 30 years and knows the whys behind kids that are in the system.  He has seen it all. 

Last summer he decided it was time to get some “field” experience. He has taught for years and intellectually understands how to deal with abused and neglected children but had never had hands on experience full time.  He and his wife bit the bullet and took in a 9yr old boy named Zack.  They got him straight out of a mental institute where he had been placed after his last placement in the foster care system ended badly.  Zack had been in the system since he was 2yrs old.

Dan learned very quickly he was head deep in what he had been teaching all these years.  Zack was misdiagnosed in the mental institution to have Bi Polar.  He had many diagnosis which I will get to in a minute.  He was diagnosed with Bi Polar because that is one of the illnesses that the institute gets paid for.  If they had accurately diagnosed him and medicated him to treat those diagnosis the institute would not get paid. Which I find outrageous.  The government gone awry again.

The first thing Dan had to do was to get him seen by his therapist and get the right diagnosis and get him on the right medications.  He was diagnosed with RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder), ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder), and ADHD.

Dan and his wife spent months working with Zack by applying his years of strategies and philosophies.  He admitted that even with the intellectual power to understand the why behind the behavior he found himself in timeout quite often.  You see Zack was also diagnosed with encopresis which is uncontrollable soiling.  The doctors said that he could not control this but Dan found that Zach would use this as a passive aggressive tool to get back at them.  He did not do it anywhere but at the house.  Anywhere that it would embarrass him he did not have an accident.  This issue in particular drove Dan to the point of braking.

Dan’s goal was to take a hopeless kid and get him to the point of being adoptable.  Dan and his wife are in their mid fifties so their intention was never to adopt him because they were just too old but to get him to a point where he could attach and be adopted.

They had reached this goal for the most part.  It got to the point where his psychiatric team decided it was time to start moving in that direction.  So they set Zack down and explained that they would not be adopting him or anyone one due to their age so that he would understand they are not rejecting him but would reject anyone in the same way.  They told him he would be adopted by another family an they would be his forever family!  Zack seemed to process this and seemed to repeat back that he is not being rejected again.

While he accepted this on the outside on the inside something snapped and within days he was back to square one.  Dan had failed and he and his wife could not continue because it was so draining.  Zack had to be readmitted into the mental institution.  They all promised to stay in touch and he still calls wanting to come back to Dan and his wife but it is just not possible.

These are the kids the system makes.  I asked Dan what would become of Zack.  He said frankly, since his wife was  not there, Zack will be incarcerated at an early age and will be a life long criminal and drug abuser because he has relied on the meds for so many years.  I followed up with, If Zach had a stable family from the beginning and had never been in the system what would be the outcome.  He said that all of his problems were created by the system and by an over developed lymbic system.  Because the human body develops from the Top down and from the center out this is one of the first systems to develop.  Because of the trauma it over develops this fight or flight system.

The sad truth is Zack is lost to the system.  Because Dan got him so old he did not have an opportunity to change his belief systems.  It was so much a part of who he was it could not be changed.  We need more good people in the system that can care for and make a difference in these children so that no more Zack’s ever fall through the cracks.

Don't look now but you have a fish on your bumper!

I was a little sleepy this morning driving to work. Instead of a "Geographical Oddity, Two weeks from everywhere" (O Brother, Where Art Thou?) I live in a "Time Zone Oddity". Every show comes on at 9pm BHT (Baby House Time). We don't watch anything live so we wait until the kids are in bed to watch any TV shows so last night I started the 2hr premiere of 24 starting at 9. I am old so that is pushing my ability to keep my eyes open.

After dragging myself out of bed and taking a hot shower I drudge out to the car and get on with my commute at about 6am. Not long after being on the road the truck in front of me catches my eye. I have to take a double take and wipe my eyes. Every time the truck puts on brakes I see something moving back and forth and two tiny red lights near the bumper. This woke me up quick and peaked my interest. I got closer and noticed it was a fish on his trailer hitch ball. I almost ran into the back of him several times because I was mesmerized by this stupid thing.

Order your Accident Initiator now!
You can get various others as well. I like the Bad Dog and my favorite Whoa Horsey .

A son is born!

We have been through this several times already.  It always starts the same "Guys looks like this one is going to be available are you interested in adopting?"  "Well of course we are!"  I understand that they need to ask that question even when they have no clue if it is reality or not but I wish they would save that question until there is a little more evidence that it will be reality.

In June of this year things looked great for baby T .  We had just seen baby Jesse off to go be with this bio family and we needed a break!  So I had some work to do in Houston and the family went with me to unwind clear our minds of the heartbreak we just went through.  We lost Jesse but baby T was still there and things were looking good.  We decided to start calling him by the name we are going to call him when he is adopted so he can get used to it.  We let our guard down. 

Not long after returning from that trip my wife calls me and tells me that we should prepare ourselves to loose baby T things have changed and there is practically no chance we will ever get to keep him.  He is going to be taken from us and given to a family of his own heritage.

Emotions spewed out of me I balled my eyes out, cried to God, got mad at the world.  I called every lawyer in the book trying to do everything humanly possible to fight for MY SON!  I was going to fight the world to keep  him.  My wife thought I had lost my mind but I was determined to fight for my son!  I knew no one in the world could love this boy more than we do!  I knew what was best for him was our family.  It looked hopeless.  For some odd reason our Country has given the Indian Nation authority over any court in the nation.  What they decide goes.  They never decide for the non-Indian family.

This last Friday driving in my car crying my eyes out again!  This whole time I have not let myself believe it.  I have protected my heart against the pain to be sure I don't feel this again.  January 10th marks the end of the 90 day probation period for Baby T no long lost family member or friend can come out of the woodwork and claim him now.  HE IS OURS!  You see the miracle happened, the father refused a paternity test but also refused any future interest in the case.  Without proof of the father the Indian Nation had no case so they dropped the case and the parental rights were terminated.  The last 90 days I have kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Driving in my car Friday I let myself feel it, I let my self believe it, I let myself enjoy it!

MY SON IS HOME!

Who died and gave you an opinion?

The wonder of God's creation is never more evident than in the laugh of a baby!  They look at you with complete adoration and unconditional love.  They are so helpless so completely dependent on you yet they are so full of achievements.  They have their first tooth, they sit up and roll over for the first time, they learn to crawl and to eventually walk.  Their brains are in over drive constantly learning new skills, new ways to play with that same old toy, ways you would have never imagined.  They light up when you walk in the door after a long days work and are so excited to see you, you are their god, their everything!

Enter the rascally teenager!  Unlike the doe eyed baby this creature is illusive.  After returning to my domicile after a long days work this creature is no where to be found.  I have to go searching through the nooks and  crannies to find them only to get a dismissive look once I have located them.  No more meeting me at the door telling me about their day and how much they missed me.  I purposely cherished and soaked in those moments because I knew this day was coming. 

They have reached the point in life where they must start to think for themselves and wean themselves off of their dependence on us.  I understand this and I do not have a problem with them thinking for themselves and having opinions however I had to sit them down and explain a few things. 

You may express your opinion at any point to either or both of us, however, it is all in the way you present your opinion.  You are going to get a lot farther to getting what you want if you express your opinion in a respectful way.  You must only express your opinion once!  If we need clarification or would like for you to tell us more about why you feel that way then have to fear we will ask you.  We take your opinion and weigh that in with the rest of the family.  It is our job to decided what is best for the whole family.  Understand that if we say no or do something contrary to your opinion it is not that we did not value your opinion or you have bad ideas it is just that it was not what was best for the family as a whole.  

What I understand and they do not is that their opinions are often contrary on purpose to stretch or prove their independence.  Their opinions are steeped in selfishness and very little life experience or wisdom.  Their need for independence is essential to them growing into productive functioning adults so I do not want to stifle their creativeness or their own thoughts but I do want them to understand that it is (for now) measured against the greater good of the family.  I will let them figure out for themselves that is is always going to be like that even in their adult life.  Their bosses are going to take their opinion and weigh it against the big picture as well.  No reason to totally burst their bubble now right?

I have half a cold!

Have you ever had a cold where only one nostril is stuffy and the other is fine?  What do you do with that?  Do I just take half the cold medicine I would normally take?  If so how would the medicine know which side of my nose is clogged?  What if it chooses wrong ? Very perplexing.

At least I have one healthy nostril!  Hopefully it will not succumb to the snotty side!

Name that house?

For many years now I have been intrigued by the way the British name their homes.  It started while reading C.S. Lewis over 15 years ago.  His home was called "The Kilns".  You know we Americans name everything we own practically or assign gender to them at the very least.  I have been trying to think of something creative to name our home.  Madhouse seems appropriate, Poopie House also very accurate, Hormone Manor also a fine description, but I want to name it something elegant and regale. 

Most of the houses in England are named after a distinguishing feature of their house like "Red Oak House", Two Chimney Place or after animals "Fox Manor" but they can be named anything and for any reason.  If you have never thought about naming your house give it a thought and let me know what you come up with.  If me and the family come up with a good name I will post it.

Happy New Year!