Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Are we really that bad?

It's mothers day this year at our church.  I am sitting in the seat next to my wife in the middle of this wonderful appreciation service for all of those mothers that give so much and get so little in return.  I think to myself this is such a wonderful church and a wonderful service to honor the sacrifice mothers give to raise families and in some cases husbands.  It was a great service altogether and that night they provided babysitting and a free meal at a local steak house for all of the single mothers out there to show their appreciation and understanding of the struggles that a single mom has to go through on a daily basis.  I was very proud to be a part of our church that day.  They did a great job of honoring mothers that day.

Fast forward, its fathers day, I am feeling pretty good.  My wife and girls and even our foster children (Well Heather really but said it was from them) got me hand made cards and gifts in appreciation of me.  I felt appreciated and honored.  We get to church that Sunday and I am excited to see what wonderful things they have planned for us Dad's out there.  The worships starts, the announcements are made, the pastor gets up to preach, and he starts preaching the next part of the series we are in.  I am thinking surely there is a mistake.  Does he not know it's Fathers Day?  So confused I try to pay attention to what he is talking about but find myself wondering what is going on.  The pastor finishes his sermon and at the close of service says that they didn't do a fathers day because he did not want to go into what all we are doing wrong.  In essence you guys suck and I don't have anything good to say about dads so I wont say anything at all.  I was shocked to say the least.  Are we really that bad?

I experience this a lot or maybe I just notice it more for some reason.  This week we had our son in the hospital for a minor surgery.  He had just got out of surgery and they moved him to the recovery floor.  I have him in my arms all cuddled up because I did not get to see him before surgery.  Me and my wife are both sitting there and the nurse says "Mom what surgery did he have?" My wife has many great qualities but hearing is something she physically cant do (light bright in the ear at 5 doesn't help) so I said he had a circumcision.  She writes on the paper and goes on her way.  She comes back again and says "Mom how did the doctor advise you to treat it?" to which I replied what the doctor told us because again my wife did not hear what the doctor said.  What is the deal am I invisible?  Does she really think I have no clue why my son is in the hospital?

We have two teenage daughters and 3 children under 2 so when my wife has to do something outside the house I stay home and take care of it.  When my wife answers the question where are the children they seem appalled that she would leave them home with a dad.  They always ask "Can he handle that?"  I don't get it are there that many bad fathers out there giving the rest of us a bad name?

Do I suck and just don't know it?  Kinda like your fly is down and no one wants to tell you?

Disclaimer:
I am in no way suggesting I am a perfect father or husband.

5 comments:

Bones said...

Did you like it when we moved from the recovery floor to day surgery floor and the OTHER nurse asked me if he had opened his eyes in recovery? While you are clearly holding him while I type CPS an email on my blackberry. What gives?

The Wife said...

It is a strange phenomenom. We see how effected people are by not having a dad around, yet we ignore the great ones that are. We literally have to split our parenting down the middle there is no interuption if mom or dad gives baths or does the nighttime routine. The thoughts on family and roles have changed. I like how dads are stepping up more than ever. I think my husband is a better father because he didn't have one around. That was a terrible fathers day experience.

The RockStar said...

I am sorry, I did not have time to read this in it's entirety because I was busy watching sports, guzzling beer and going golfing ...

You know how us dads are. What kids?

K-Dogg said...

interesting that your pastor didn't have anything good to say and just avoided the holiday altogether. nothing like sending a message of hopelessness to the dads in your church.

i think that if you have any self-awareness and can say that you honestly are trying to put God and your family before yourself, then most likely you're doing a decent job.

Aubrey and Jen said...

I'll be sure to talk to someone who knows someone and let them know that we need to really rock it out for Dads next year!! :)

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