Small Town feel

I grew up in a Town called Concord, North Carolina for most of my life.  It was small and still rooted in much of the history of the area, however it was less than 30 minutes from Charlotte, NC which was a fast growing city due to the banking industry.  So even though I thought Concord was a small town it really was connected to a large city.  Concord today is really just the sprawl of Charlotte.  It has all the big city things including a NASCAR track, and a Mills Mall.

I live in a small town now in Texas, it still has some small town feel to it but then again it is adjacent to Frisco TX and then Plano and then Dallas which is obviously a very large metroplex.  We are on the outskirts of the concrete jungle but we can still see it from the front porch.  We can drive less than a mile down the road and see horses and cattle and open farm land so it is sort of the best of both worlds.  We have all the conveniences of the big city and the quietness of a small town.

While I thought I knew what a small poor town was I really had no clue.  I always lived near a big city.  This past week I spent some quality time in the small poverty stricken towns of New Mexico.  First we went to my mother-in-laws house in Roswell NM which is actually one of the larger cities in NM and is much like the town I grew up in.  Saturday we traveled an hour back east to Lovington NM which is near the border of Texas and New Mexico.  I was taken back by the slowness of the people there.  I was also taken back by the obvious poverty and the lifestyles that lends itself too.  The houses that would be condemned in most places are proud places of residence here in Lovington.  There is no Wal-Mart (the nearest one is 23 miles away) just Bob’s Supermarket, there are no name brand hotel’s, we stayed at the Lovington Inn which was surprisingly clean and affordable.  The people were working class with little material possessions and what appeared to be little desire to obtain them.  They seem quite content with the life they are leading and the pace at which they are traveling. 

The pace of life is the other thing that stood out to me on this trip.  No one is in a hurry!  I mean no one!  You could sit at a red light for two cycles and no one would even blow their horn at you.  I went into the local Town and Country gas station to buy a couple things and the lady behind the counter seemed in no particular hurry at all to check my items out and get me out of the store.  She took the time to make small talk, fiddle with something or another behind the register and yell across the store to a co-worker who was learning how to do inventory.  Maybe they are on to something here.  They seem very content in a place I would consider oppressive so who’s perspective is wrong?  The simpler life, the out of the rat race life, does seem attractive in many ways but then again, high speed internet, Best Buy, and Wal-Mart are great conveyances too!  I enjoyed my visit because of the change in culture and pace.  I learned a lot from talking with my family who lives there and from hearing their life experiences.  I am looking forward to going back although that is mostly due to my family being there.

Brian Urlacher of the Chicago Bears is from Lovington.  Their native son gone on to fame.  Nice mural.

Dear Gabe

Dear Gabriel Tryece Faries,

May 12, 2009

It has been a tradition in our family since we became foster parents to write a letter to those children that we have been blessed with for only a point and time in their lives. These are generally very hard letters to write. We have no idea what the future will hold for those children or even if our paths will cross again.

Today is the beginning of a new tradition! I am writing you a We Gotcha Letter!

I will never forget the day that we got the news that you were going to be coming to live with us. I was at lunch with my boss at Anderson’s Barbecue and Heather called my cell phone and said “they have a boy for us”. “He has some medical issues and will likely need heart surgery and they need a family to stay with him until after the surgery then the grandmother will take him”. This sounds pretty intimidating but I felt deep down God telling me that this is a child you need in your life. I made the call and you were on your way. You were precious from day one. A little blue at times from the heart defect but precious none the less. I thank God everyday that he spoke to my spirit about you.

There were points and times in your life where we thought you were going to live with family or complete strangers. I grieved terrible at this news. It tore me up inside and I was determined to do everything in my power to fight for you regardless of the hopelessness that seemed to face us. I called every lawyer in the book, followed every lead, each road lead me to “There is nothing you can do legally” sorry Michael. That is when I realized that I was pursuing the wrong path. I had to turn it over to God and I did. Weeks after that we got the news that the situation had resolved itself and you were going to be ours. We were cautiously optimistic.

Today was a glorious day Gabe! What we have been waiting on for 17mths has come to an end and a new beginning.

We had to wake up really early. Obviously you were not excited about this :) We got you in the van and headed on our 2hr drive to Greenville to the court house. You were still in your diaper so you could chow down on your breakfast and not mess up your court clothes :) We got there late of course and got you dressed and rushed into the court house were we met with our attorney. One of us chased you up and down the stairs while the other listened to the lawyer and signed papers. He told us what to expect. He said it was anticlimactic in a way. It was time 9am. We waited for the prisoners from the local jail dressed in their red and white striped jump suites and handcuffs to enter the court then we followed in and sat on the back row of the courtroom. We thought we would be first to go but they took several cases before us. You and a quite courtroom do not get along so I took you out in the hall just outside the courtroom and let you run up and down the hall. Everyone had to comment on how cute you were in your court clothes :) Meanwhile I had been sick so the sweat was pouring down me now due to the fever and the hot court room. My shirt was soaked. Every time the door would open I would hold my breath thinking it was the lawyer coming to get us. This happened 10 or 15 times. Finally the lawyer poked his head out the door and said it is time! I swept you in my arms and marched straight for the judges bench not looking at anyone for fear I would burst into tears at any moment! Finally our family Heather, Hannah, Tara, Kiya, and your half sister Laura were standing in front of this half bald judge. I glanced to the right quickly to see my beautiful family but turned away quickly trying to avoid crying again. FOCUS Michael FOCUS. I fixed my eyes on the lawyers beard. He had said we will need to answer about 10 questions all of which will be answered with “Yes”. How hard can that be? Staring straight at his beard as he begins to ask the questions trying not to even hear them but to listen for the end of the sentence so I can say “YES”. Finally the end of the first question. “Mr. Faries is that correct?” Weak and softly I say “yes”. “Mr. Faries can you please speak up so the court reporter can hear you?” I clear my throat and belt out a powerful “YES”. Whew I made it through the first question! The second and third questions came and went still focusing back and forth between his beard and the court reporters little cup like device she speaks into trying not to think about the hugeness of the moment. Question five, six, seven, and eight went down with a powerful and resounding “YES”. Then it happened, sweat pouring out of every pour in my body, I lost my gaze and looked to my right and saw my beautiful family and our friends who were there to catalog this moment. At that moment a million what if’s collided with the certainty and finality of this very moment. It hit me like a ton of bricks. A thousand emotions flooded me and I broke into tears. Question nine was answered with a clutching of you to my check as my tears ran down your face and a weak head nod. “Will the record show Mr Faries nodded yes?” “Mr. Faries you are obviously excited about this moment”. Man was that an understatement! Question ten was greeted with the continuation of the last shaking of my head “YES”! My questions are over and I think I did pretty well :) Heather answers the last two questions with a quick “Yes” and the lawyer turns to the judge and says “I rest my case”. The finality of this moment ended when the judge slammed his gavel down with a smile on his face and said “I approve this adoption!”

I will never forget this moment in my life and I hope this will give you a little insight into how I felt at that moment when you became my forever son.

I love you with all of my heart, all of my soul, You are my SON!

Love Daddy,

I pledge my children to Heaven

“Oh no matter whatever the cost, I'm gonna count all things lost.
Well I pledge my son, I pledge my wife, I pledge my head to heaven”

This is one of my favorite lyrics.  It was written by a man named Keith Green in a song called “I Pledge my head to heaven”.  Keith knew what it meant to follow Christ.  He knew he had to die to himself he had to put God before all things he held dear.  He had to pledge his children, his wife, and even his own head to heaven to pursue the gospel.

This week another little one is going home and as I was sitting writing my goodbye letter to her these lyrics popped into my head.  I have to sacrifice my desires and my plans for the plans God has.  It is difficult but I have to pledge my children to Heaven.  We did our part to be the vessel when called upon to fill a void in their lives and I am determined to be grateful that I got to be a part at all instead of all the what if’s or concentrating on what I will miss in their lives. 

Each time I sit down to write on of these letters that is the hardest part.  I imagine all the phases of their lives and I can see them growing in my minds eye and it makes me long to want to be there for every moment.  Every tee ball game or every dance recital, every first step, every lost tooth, every first and every last, every sorrow and every joy.

God called me to be above the moment, to be above my desires, He called me to pledge my Children to Heaven, and to count all things as lost for the gospel.

My heart breaks but my purpose is fulfilled….